November 16, 2012

Movie Premiere and a Little Self Reflection

Thursday Night, 5:30 pm: 
Breaking Dawn Part 2 Premiere

Here's how the thought process went down...

Wow, this is awesome!  What dentist buys out a whole theater and gives tickets to his patients...and a premiere no less, we are so lucky!  

Oh my, look at that line of people.  I wonder what they're doing.  Oh.  I see.  They're paying money to have their picture taken next to a cardboard cutout.  That's strange, but they sure are happy to see that cardboard cutout.  Hmm, maybe I should do that...it would make a good picture for the blog, tempting...tempting...can't do it.

Ah, just smell that buttery popcorn, definitely need some popcorn.  Did that super-friendly concession worker just ask me what team I'm on? Why is it suddenly hard to swallow?  Just tell her you don't believe in teams...it's okay, she won't be offended.  Why is she looking at me like that?  She's not smiling anymore...now I'm the freak here? What about those crazy nice women drooling over cardboard man?  "Team Edward," I say, my face burning with shame. 

Mmmm, I think popcorn might be my favorite food.
Wow, they sure are having fun over there...I kinda wish I really was on a team.  Why can't I be like that?  There's John, maybe we should take a picture...
That was so embarrassing!  Why am I so embarrassed?  Maybe because I just posed with a bucket of popcorn at the movie theater?  I feel like an idiot.  Am I really the only girl in America the world who thinks this whole affair is a little odd?

Breathe, just breathe...it's just for fun, lighten up.  To each his own.  Don't judge.  Don't judge.

How cute are these! Cupcakes and swag bags, I feel kinda special...fangs, chocolate, prizes...Dr. Johnson is seriously the coolest dentist.  Better try one more picture, with the fangs in...
Ouch, probably shouldn't have tried again...that was worse than the popcorn pic.  Why am I trying to be something I'm not?  Just accept it, you are not fun, cool, or silly.  You are boring and you don't like wearing fangs or taking pictures at the movies.  

Okay, it's starting.  Just relax.  Dang it, I was hoping that crazy-fast-running would look a little more realistic this time.  Oh well, it's just a movie.  WHOA!!! What is wrong with their baby!!!?  I know I've seen that before...where have I seen that? Now I remember! I saw that exact baby on one of those websites, you know, where you you mix your face with your crush to see what your child would look like.  That's kinda weird cool.  It does look like them.

Aaaaah!  That dang baby freaked me out again.  Is the baby supposed to be creepy?

Oh no, they're in their bedroom.  Weird music is playing...they are looking at each other strangely.  This is awkward.  Okay, this is painful.  WHAT is happening??? Please stop.  Please.  Just  stop.  Is John laughing?   Why isn't it ending?  Did someone just cheer?  This is the weirdest moment of my life.  Please, please just stop showing this...

Moving on.  I wonder why Bella doesn't really seem to care much for blood.  I thought that was kinda like the thing vampires did.  This is...really boring, I wonder what the kids are up to.  I hope Wyatt studied his spelling words.  Man, I really need to hit up the grocery store tomorrow.  Oh, and I need to get a present for that birthday party on Saturday.  I wonder if 007 is any good?  My throat hurts...when is this dang cold gonna go away?

It's still not over?  Woah!  Did they just rip his head off?  That was crazy...okay now it's getting good...loving this fight seen...blood, gore, heads flying in every direction.  Wait!  I'm pretty sure I hate violence.  What has happened to me?  Maybe I've been bitten...ha ha, see, I can be silly.  

Finally it's over.  That was really long.  Why isn't anyone leaving?  Is that lady crying?  I wonder if she's hurt, maybe she needs help.  What are these people waiting for?  Maybe it's like one of those shows where there's a secret ending after the credits.  John is squeezing my hand, I guess he doesn't care about the possibility of a secret ending.

That was okay, I guess.  Maybe we should have given our tickets to one of the die hard fans, what are they called?  Twilighters?  Twi-hards?  No, I'm glad we went.  Just because I'm boring and lame and don't belong to a team doesn't mean I don't deserve a movie night with my husband.  

I wonder if they will somehow squeeze another movie in.  I'm pretty sure it can't be done.  That dang Stephanie Meyers.  I kinda am insanely jealous of her.

Farewell Twilight series.  Maybe someday I will miss you, but for now I really just want to go home.

3 comments:

  1. lol!! I felt and thought EXACTLY like you with the last twilight movie I saw! So awkward, so weird, so nerd chilly hehe. And if I were a team, I would be team Jacob, but sadly, I stopped the whole Twilight thing after I started falling asleep reading the first 5 pages of the third book...then my twilight affair ended. We have no relationship, however, I will probably sometime see the last movie, just so I can experience (why again?) the weirdness all over again:)....o and do you like how I comment a second after you put up a post?...it's cause I sit on my butt all day....your posts keep me going! :)

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    1. Nerd chills! I love it. Yes, I had nerd chills all night long. At least you are on bed rest, what is my excuse?!!! My laundry is PILING up!

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  2. LOL while reading. Hi Mel, hey you are seriously the Erma Bombeck of the Blog generation. You will probably have to google Erma Bombeck. Call me. I have a great idea.
    Love, Mom

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